confessions from a first time momma

There has been a reason that I have been MIA for the last few weeks... and it's a legitimate reason.  Promise.  Although I've been a mom for the last 9 months, I don't feel like I have actually "felt" like a mom until last week.  Here's why.  After starting my job, about a million people started asking me to babysit.  It was overwhelming, to say the least.  My days were filled with learning to adjust my schedule, learning to be away from the babe, and spending time with other kids.  Every morning would start by getting up and getting both the babe and I ready.  After rushing out the door to drop her off, I would work for 3-4 hours and then pick her up.  We would head back home just in time to meet the kids who I would babysit or go to their house to watch them.  The rest of the evening would be filled with making lunch, picking kids up from school, answering a million questions, cleaning up dishes, and changing diapers.  

It was a mad, crazy rush!  Every time I would load the car with bags and kids, I would have a rush of overwhelming gratitude.  Gratitude for opportunity that I have to be a mother to my Sadee girl and our future children.  Through the craziness, I realized that I'm good at being a mom.  Like most women, I am very hard on myself and expect perfection in every aspect of my life.  While I can honestly say that being a mom is not easy and I am not perfect {in any sense of the word}, it is the one thing that gives me so much accomplishment in life.
As I look at all the goals I have yet to accomplish, it could be easy to see myself as a failure.  However, being a mother has consumed my mind, making little room for feelings such as this.  The hubs and I have a very simple life and I am adamant that we schedule as little as possible from day to day.  Feeling stressed and overwhelmed are feelings I like to keep out of our life.  Sometimes it's difficult to keep the calm and peace, but it is possible!

Long story short, I have no idea what my point is, but I love being a mom.  It's hard to find a routine that works accompanied by a huge learning curve, although the slower pace is nice.  Each time I look at my baby, I am reminded why I am here and why it's okay to be "just" a mom.  

Here's to motherhood.

1 comment

  1. You are a fantastic mom kels! Don't ever think you're not!!!!

    ReplyDelete

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