progress & change

A few people have already mentioned their disbelief that Summer is behind us and Autumn is here.  I'm with you!  This time of year has always meant "school" for the hubs and I, so the color changing and cool weather always felt normal.  This year, not so much.  The hubs started teaching school and I'm at home with the babes.  It's a good, new normal for me.  

Most days, while daddy works, we head over to my mom's house for a few hours.  On the way, I pass my best friends' grandmothers house.  In her yard is a medium sized tree that changes bright orange about 3 weeks before any other tree even thinks about changing.  It also looses its leaves about 3 weeks before all the other trees.  Weirdo.  This tree has always meant that change was coming.  Every year I've passed those changing leaves, my heart always felt ready - ready for school, ready for cool weather, ready for the next chapter.  

This year was totally different.

When I saw those leaves changing last month, I thought there was no way it was even real.  Summer can't be over.  It's been too good.  That's the funny thing about time.  It doesn't stop, even if everyone wants it to.  Those leaves have continued to change and are now the brightest orange you would ever see.  The other trees are starting to yellow and it causes my heart to ache.  There is so much I want to change right now, and yet there is still too much I want to stay the same.

Just the other day I was down at BYU and I wanted so badly to be back there as a new freshman - looking for my classes, collecting various syllabi, and meeting new people.  It was always so exhilarating feeling the start of progress with a new semester.  Progress is different now.  It's not marked by a start date and end date.  It's slower too.  Yes, some days I wish to go back and enjoy those college days more - but those wishing moments are the times I miss out on today.  I never want to miss out on my children growing up. 

Today is sooo good!  The coming months may bring change and they may not.  I'll just have to be prepared either way.  And sometimes the not-knowing is the greatest blessing of all.

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