general conference | october 2015

Every six months our family gathers together to watch the prophets and apostles of the LDS church speak during General Conference. It's the best excuse to stay in your pajamas all day, eat lots of junk food and do basically nothing except absorb spiritual goodness for two days straight. I've been wanting to do better about sharing my beliefs on social media, so here we go.

The last couple months I've been struggling with understanding why the gospel of Jesus Christ is important in my life. Church is a combination between a wrestling match and an animal chase that often leaves me spiritually lifeless. Every General Conference I try to approach each session with a question that is concerning me. Most of the time the question is centered around what is ONE thing I can do better in my life. It's always been helpful in keeping me grounded to reality since I'm one of those "I-can-do-anything-and-everything-all-at-once" type of gals!  

This time around I couldn't bring myself to wonder what I should be doing better at, because the answer would be that I need to improve on everything... seriously, everything! And so, I decided that the one thing I wanted to gain from General Conference was to feel hope that my daily efforts are worth it and to feel the spirit one time. Lofty goals I tell ya! 

Needless to say, my simple prayer was answered. We had the opportunity to sustain three new apostles in the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. Three apostles passed away last month and they were deeply loved by members of the church and myself. It's always hard to know what it's going to be like when new personalities enter and they have their own way of speaking and teaching gospel doctrines. It always makes me feel a bit anxious. As the new apostles spoke in the press conference on Saturday afternoon, their love for Jesus Christ and his gospel was evident. They discussed the witness they received that they had truly been called of Christ. I wanted that, to know that they were Christ's apostles. Over the remainder of the press conference and even when they shared their testimonies on Sunday morning, my heart was filled with love for these men. I'm sure my "witness" is different than theirs, but the spirit spoke to my doubtful mind and heart that they are men called of God to minister to the world of Christ's divinity and mission.

I wish that I could give people a piece of my heart so that everyone could feel a fraction of the surety I have felt. It was easy to recognize their faith, strength and humility -- which are all attributes I wish to strengthen. The life calling of serving as an apostle to the Lord must be terrifying, but they are up for the challenge because they have been prepared to serve in this capacity. I'm thankful for a loving Heavenly Father who, even when I'm confused or hurt or broken, can touch my heart and mind to remind me that there is always hope, the the gospel of Jesus Christ is true and that I am not alone.

With that, my new goal is to be more open and honest about my religion and spiritual progress on social media. I posted a few quotes on Instagram that were meaningful to me. I totally used to think it was annoying when people posted religious quotes and scriptures, but as I've found it more and more difficult to open my own scriptures, others posts have softened my heart and opened my eyes to how well Heavenly Father knows each of us. I have often had prayers answered and hope spoken to my soul as I've read uplifting messages on Facebook, Instagram or blogs. And so, I'm not that spiritual and I'm struggling with my doubts, but I know that God lives. I know that God loves each of us. I have felt his love in my life and felt his love for others as well. I believe that we have a living prophet who has been called of God to guide his church. I believe that when we pray for help, our burdens will be made lighter. I believe that people are placed in our lives to build and strengthen us.

Here's to sharing our beliefs and making the world a better place!

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